Dullsville Section
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Specters of my Girlfriends
It is with great gloom and disquietude that I funerally jot
down this frighteningly fiendish and macabre experience that has been
tormenting me relentlessly of late. For the past couple of days, yours truly
has been having atrocious nights that are threatening to pass a chariot and
horses straight through his sanity.
Lately, diabolical and outright horrid nightmares have been driving
me to the precipice of insanity. I am no longer enjoying the peaceful nights
that I have always known ever since I became old enough to recall my dreams. Something
went completely astray the past couple of days, and all of a sudden am having
the most outlandish nightmares ever. Dreams that are so horrendous that I
wouldn’t wish them upon my worst enemy have now become part and parcel of me. I
know during the day I might seem bubbly and happier than a king, but let that
not fool you. When I retire to bed every night, I’m even afraid of shutting my
eyes out of fear of the unknown.
First of all let me make it crystal clear that I have never
been scared by the notion of those things that go bump at night. Secondly,
though I listen to rock music quite often, I am not that type of a psychotic
teen full with scary morbid fascinations. Number three, I only watch as many
horror films as the next guy. It would help to inform you that though a
majority of people find those grotesque films extremely blood-curdling and
spine chilling, I never as much as butt an eyelid. I just sit there through the
entire flick straight-faced, coz they don’t excite me that much.
But if what I dream about of late is anything to go by, the
phantasmagoria is happening right in my mind! The script never changes much. The
setting and plot are forever analogous to the previous versions of the same
dream. But the characters are not your regular Angelina
Jollie and Brad Pitt.
The cast is composed of wraiths of people that I know very well. People who
know me like the back of their palms. People I’ve dated. People I’ve broken up
with. Girls I’ve had crushes on. Girls whom am considering to date in future.
Lasses am currently having a fling with. In total, my phantasmagoria contains
over twenty characters.
It would be foolhardy for me to avail this piece to the
public domain while it contains the real names of the girls that I’ve nearly
had hanky-pankys with. So, for reasons rather too obvious to state, I have
tinkered a bit with the names of the lasses involved.
“We had agreed with my girlfriend to go to a late night
movie at IMAX Theatre, and we were
to meet outside Kenya
Cinema Plaza.
I think I chose the place because I’ve been there so many times before that I
know it like the back of my hand. You know the place? Just outside Uchumi
house, the building that abuts Electricity House. Opposite that row of edifices
sits a parking lot that also serves as a skating ground on Sundays.
I am not particularly certain which girl I had come to meet,
coz some times it’s Catherine, while at times its either Charity or Lynne.
I arrived at the place at around 8 pm, but my partner hadn’t turned up yet. Since,
the movie (twas Hobbit, I suppose) wasn’t to start until 11 pm; I knew I had a few hours to kill until
she arrived. There is a raised edge at the end of the pavement overlooking the
parking lot, and I opted to sit on it as I waited for her.
No sooner had I made myself comfortable than my sixth sense began
indicating that the atmosphere around that place was rather incongruous. Something was totally wrong. Something I
couldn’t quite put a finger on. For a moment, I felt like bolting out of the
ominous environment, but I chose to stay. Now when I recall what happened to me
afterwards, I wish I had loped away as fast as my legs could carry me.
A chilly wind brushed by my person and I shuddered, more of
dread than of the cold. Before you could mutter “Harry Potter”,
a tawny owl landed on a nearby tree and started hooting incessantly. I turned
back towards the buildings but what I saw sent kilos of horror tumbling down my
being. Believe it or not, a poltergeist was shaking the buildings so that they
danced as though they were on a divine mission to mock and scare me out of my
wits! If you ever read those spooky novels titled Goosebumps as a kid, I bet you get the picture of how haunting my
situation was.
Shaking with trepidation, I managed to stand up and prepared
to run out of the haunted place. But I knew my goose was cooked when I couldn’t
muster enough energy to even lift my leg. It was like I had grown roots which had
firmly transfixed me to the macadam.
I needed help. Fast. From anyone! But when I looked around
desperately hoping to catch an eye of even a policeman, there was not a soul of
humanity to be spotted around this hell. A drowning man would sure clutch at a
straw, and so I tried to mumble a prayer. But my lips could not move. I knew I
was moments away from the worst.
I am sure I saw someone dashing around from building to
building. That someone was actually a human skeleton, clad in a long
pitch-black robe that covered him from head to toe. He carried a large scythe.
Grim Reaper? Dear Lord!!!
“Jay!”
Only a few people usually call me Jay,
my closest female friends actually.
“Jaaaaaaaaaay!” The melodious voice rent the air again. That
was Catherine’s voice, no doubt. I
knew Cat’s voice so well that there was no way I could have failed to identify
it. She used to sing to me regularly, and what a beautiful voice she possessed!
For once, my heart melted with joy and relief. I was
relieved that at last she had arrived; to bail me out of this hell hole at last.
“Cat! Thank God you are around!” I said as I ran towards her. I hugged her so
tightly that if I had held on for a second longer, I am positive I would have
broken her back. Hot tears were trickling down my cheeks. “Thank God Cat, Thank God!”
I leaned forward to give her a kiss. When she opened her
mouth, I received the shock of a lifetime. In place of her fluorescent teeth
sat the ugliest pair of fangs ever! The fangs were so huge that they sent fear
coated with horror up my spine. Before I could recover from the trauma, my very
girlfriend set on a metamorphosis that gave birth to the most grotesque progeny
ever! Her face changed from that of a beautiful girl that had once hypnotized
me with her beauty to a hideous creature that resembled none other than the
devil’s own grandmother. From her chin sprout a beard that was so long it could
win an Oscar. Zits the size of donuts
implanted themselves on her forehead. Her fangs grew so long that they could no
longer fit in her mouth. Out came the fangs, and with them a slimy thin and
pronged tongue akin to those possessed by serpentine creatures. She hissed and
the smell that came out of her cunt uh, mouth was so acrid and appalling it
could suffocate a new-born.
I stepped back two or three paces and shouted the only words
that came to my head like my life depended on it. “Help me! Help me! Somebody
help!”
“Jay!” A voice rent
the air. It was Charity’s voice. Had she come to my rescue?
“Jay” That was
undoubtedly Lynn,
my first love.
“Jay!” Twas Maryanne.
“Jay!” Vivian.
“Jay!” Fridah.
“Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay!”
The whole place was now echoing with my name, in voices of
myriad female personalities. The chants were fast getting shrill and frightening;
I couldn’t take it a second longer. So I placed my fingers to my ear and as
though on reflex, I also twisted around with my left leg raised using my right
foot as the pivot. My eyes were tightly shut. Silence.
The quiet that descended upon the place was really intense. You
could hear a pin drop from as far as Afya
Center. As if on slow
motion mode, I sluggishly opened my eyes to the parade of the most hideous phantoms
ever. In front of me stood ghostly apparitions, about a twenty of them. They
all resembled the previous version of Catherine,
in that they had long beards, fangs, and pimples the size of donuts on their
foreheads. Though the specters looked synonymous, I could somehow tell that
each face belonged to a specific girl. Anne,
Fatuma, Janet, Njoki, Njeri, Caroline, Martha,
Pauline, Maryanne, Charity, Christine, Eva,
Cat…
My eyes stopped roaming almost instantly as they landed on Cat.
Unlike the other girls who wore uniform gaudy frocks, Cat’s dress was most
terrible. Her ghastly negligee conveyed horror of death and disease with utmost
realism. I realized that she must be the ghost-in-chief, the prefect to other
phantoms.
By now, rivulets of icy perspiration were running down nearly
soaking me wet. My knees were knocking like crazy, and I was quaking all over
like a pregnant chameleon on a frail twig (excuse the cliché).
“We warned you Jones, we warned you!” Cat spoke.
“Wh-what did I do?” I stuttered.
In reply to my question, Cat instead burst into a devilish laugh
that was really frightening. She was soon joined by her troop, and they laughed
on for what seemed like eternity. Then out of the blue, their mirth deflated in
an instant like a pricked balloon. Njoki stepped forward and in a sepulchral
voice, she repeated what Cat had said a moment ago, “We warned you Jay!”
Then Eva too
stepped forth. She twisted around and took a step closer to me, letting out a
guttural, weird howl. By now I was sure I had either peed or defecated in my
pants; wouldn’t be surprised if it were both though.
Charity came forward too. One by one, all the girls stepped towards
me and before I could blink, they all went Django Unchained on me. Blows and kicks
rained all over my body from head to toe.
For those who have experienced child-birth before, my pain felt ten
times worse. I sputtered blood all over, but that did not seem to evoke even an
ounce of remorse in any one of them. Black and blue they beat me on and on, as
though they were on strict instructions from the devil himself.
After an eon of torture, the presiding monster, Cat, pushed
her disciples back and bent down closer to me. She then extended her right hand
towards my chest and for a moment, I wondered with trepidation what she was up
to. Then from beneath her nails grew another set of nails which glittered like silver.
She then dug all of them into my chest. Squish!
Like a fountain, blood gushed out of my system spraying everything
and everyone around. The girls’ gaudy clothes turned crimson. Cat’s face itself
was a horror, though she appeared to be grinning with satisfaction as she looked
at me. She fidgeted with my flesh a little, squeezing her palm now and again
sending torrents of hot human blood shooting into the air now and then. When
she noted that no more blood was coming out of my system, the daughter-of-a-ghoul
then pulled out a huge chunk of flesh from my chest. Dear Lord!
I must have fainted when Cat bored my chest coz the next
thing I remember is finding myself in some place that was full of dead bodies.
The cadavers were emitting a really fetid smell that was chocking me to a point
I couldn’t breathe. It must have been a mausoleum or a morgue.
I don’t understand how, but in the next instant I was inside
a pit. It was raining not only cats and dogs, but also all the other domestic
animals as well. The muddy pit must have been relatively shallow, coz I could
see the girl-ghosts staring down upon me. From the looks on their hairy faces,
I could tell they were extremely happy and satisfied. Some were even stroking
their beards and squeezing their pimples leisurely.
Out of nowhere, Cat produced a spade and the other girls
followed suit. They then started pouring soil on me spade by spade. I tried my
best to get out of the pit, but the slimy walls ensured I always fell back in,
thanks to the rainfall. I was being buried alive!
I remember screaming for help, but the girls continued
pouring scoops of sand on top of me nevertheless.
The last thing I recall of that dream is hearing the girls
laugh out loud with satisfaction.”
Some of you might want to dismiss this as cockamamie on
grounds that one can not remember the details of their dream so clearly. Well,
I’ve had the same dream over and over so many times that I can now retell it
lucidly to anyone. And besides that am a writer, what do you expect?
I do believe that this diabolical nightmare of mine has a
meaning beneath it. Anyone out there who knows someone who has the ability to
interpret dreams? Please contact me on facebook or twitter by clicking here and here respectively. Or why not drop me an email at jonesdeelder@gmail.com by hitting here?
